I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
