Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Houston, we have a blender
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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