He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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