i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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