I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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