I wanna bring you to show and tell
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
