The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
