YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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