so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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