No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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