Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
