got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
