Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you traded sex for a burrito?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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