get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
