Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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