good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
they need to just BURY HIM!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
