Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
