I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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