tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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