omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
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Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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