do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
