My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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