Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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