I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
