my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize