so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
