So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
