Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
