They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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