her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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