we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it ðŸ˜
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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