I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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