thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize