Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
there is puke in my bra ... again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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