I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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