We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize