No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
