I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
