I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
