Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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