They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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