Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
