Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
