dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
