never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
