He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
