In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so that wasnt chicken after all
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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