Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
