Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
