I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Houston, we have a blender
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
