That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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