I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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