Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
