so explain again why im purple
no
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
