I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
