seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i think my cat just said my name.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
