she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
