What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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