Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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