How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
