Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
