You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
this hospital has no fireball
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
