I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
