ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
