No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
