The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
