I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize