Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
