A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
