If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
