Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
